Re: manholes (was: RE: Hacker MUDSTEALER ALERT)

From: Edward Glamkowski (EGlamkowski@MATHEMATICA-MPR.COM)
Date: 11/06/97

>Sent:  Wednesday, November 05, 1997 9:16 AM
>Subject:       Re:  manholes (was: RE:  Hacker MUDSTEALER ALERT)
>I'm finally going to reply to this absurd line of posts and throw my
>pennies in...
>It REALLY is round so that it won't fall through.  That is the original
>reason for them designed that way, and no, if it was square, it would
>fall through.

I still maintain that you could certainly make them other
shapes in such a way that they wouldn't fall through.
Although they may not be as easy or practical... ;)

Anyway, let's kill the thread with this joke:

Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
From: (Matt Kennel)
Subject: Of Microsoft and Manholes
Date: Wed, 7 Dec 94 19:30:04 EST

Legends have sprung up about the unusual questions that
Microsoft's recruiters sometimes seem ask during a job
interview.  One of them, in particular, is ``Why are
manhole covers round?'' People have chimed in with quite a
variety of logical reasons, such as the fact that round
ones can't fall in the hole or perhaps that round ones may
be rolled so construction crews may schlep them from place
to place---certainly a good reason considering their

Perhaps one of the best answers, considering Microsoft's
line of business, is of course, "because manholes are

Now given this I was surprised to hear on the net from a
now unidentifiable source that near Microsoft headquarters,
the actual manhole covers in their streets are square!

This rather baffled me, until I saw the light.  For the
net's humble amusement may I present....

Top 10 Reasons Why Microsoft's Manhole Covers are Square:

  10)  Shortened beta test cycle.

   9)  City got a special deal for bundling square manhole
        covers with their manholes despite the presence of
        superior alternatives.

   8)  Microsoft Street For Windows crashes on circles.
        Tech support says Chicago has them working, denies
        copying Apple/Cupertino's round covers.

   7)  Construction company had to sign non-competition
        agreement barring street developers from any contact
        with Euclid.

   6)  DR-DOS found compatible with round ones.

   5) They make $49 dollars on each upgrade:
       Manhole Cover 1.0:  the original.
       Manhole Cover 1.1:  turned 90 degrees.
       Manhole 1.2: turned 180 degrees.
       Manhole 2.0 New Technology:  flipped upside down.

   4)  Perfect game piece for acting out those wacky
       Human Minesweeper tournaments.

   3)  Ziff-Davis publishing pushing new mag ``Square
        Manhole World''.

   2)  To prepare for Windows Everywhere: Windows For
        Manhole Covers.

   1)  Every single circle reminds The Bill of "O"-S-2.

(joke is original)

-Matt Kennel  
-Institute for Nonlinear Science, University of California, San Diego

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